Monday, April 11, 2011

Blabber, chatter, jabber...

Not a chance in hell, Ole G is still kicking.- Nou la pi rèd.-

I have not posted for over two months, have had a problem posting, received, and continue to receive countless private emails, inquiring if I were alive, and still breathing?, did I buy the farm?, kick the bucket? or am I simply comatose?, to paraphrase Mark Twain:
Rumors of my demise have been greatly exaggerated, and to reiterate, the one being referred to as "what's her name", my one, and only daughter, my breath: Never give up nor surrender, reload, and come back stronger. I am back, still wasting valuable bits, and bytes of Internet bandwidth that could be put to much better use, it has been a very tough past 2 years, but somehow, I feel compelled, to say that I am incredibly blessed, I have a lot of comforts that many in this world do not, and God only knows, that I am not worthy.

I do write daily, and the ideas always seem clinquant, venerable, if not stately, when they are flowing from my thick skull, to my fingertips, to the keyboard, I do have a rule about waiting one day (1), or ten days (10) to post anything, it just so happens, that this time, the axiomatic, one day, or ten days turned into sixty plus days (60 +), Ole G had to wonder why oh why, nothing seems to pass muster when he comes back to whatever he has written the day or the prior week? had to wonder, if maybe, he has not been too critical of his cherished blog? Was he been self-conscious about the fact that he needs a pair of reading glasses, and a magnifier to read the scriptures? after all, Microsoft Spell Check does not always catch everything, and I hate it when or if I come back to a post a couple of days later, and see a glaring mistake in syntax or spelling, my ultimate issue, my dégringolade, may reside in the fact that my one, and only son, all but 12 years old, the syntax expert on this here blog, has abruptly resigned from his unofficial position of correcteur par excellence, due to lack of benefits, and according to him, at the very least, he was raised right, and can no longer take the "bull de crap", we shall have to blame his mama on this one, since I have never meant, nor intended, to raise such a virtuous, and gallant gentleman.

Addendum.- Have you noticed that lately, Ole G has been referring to himself in the third person singular? can anybody spell: NARCISSISM?

The prodigal son, has become obsessed with The Humanities, chiefly Greek mythology: Zeus, and Eros, en passant par Aphrodite; my brain simply is not big enough to keep up with his fresh, ever-expanding cerebellum, he is asking questions that never even occurred to me, and he is asking them at a rate faster than I can Google, yet, as with any future scholar, he has realised: the more he learns, the less he knows, thus he continues to bombard me with increasingly complex, and somewhat baffling questions. He drills me day, and night, like I am a walking encyclopedia, and while over the years, I have always enjoyed to partake in some colloquies, even have reveled in dialogues about abstract concepts, nonetheless, I have realised that, this particular father & son/coming of age tête-à-tête, will go around, and around in twisted circles, until I can explain to him the linear nature of time itself, there is a fine line between mythology/legends, history; Il en est des arts et des techniques, comme des lieux, des légendes, des contes et des fables, different strokes for different folks, and the fact certain things happened at different times, some overlap, and some repeat, and some scholars even wonder if time exists at all, or if the entirety of existence is not happening simultaneously as in NOW.

I love writing this blog, I have tried to transcribe, facetious, uproarious, and perplexing stories out of the everyday things that I have experienced, and witnessed in Afrika, my life is about the ultimate raillery, and the lampoonery about me or others (may God forgive me). I thought that if I wrote them down, then maybe, other people would find them risible, and anomalous. I imagined that within a couple of months, I would have thousand of readers, and million of dollars $$ (dola) deposited in my Standard Chartered Bank International Account.

It is unequivocal that I may have been a bit exalted, and have even hyperbolised, about my talent as a litterateur, and a wordsmith, just another money scheme/scam falling short to my intended target, story of my life Always a second late or a penny short. I have said before that I just want to practice, and improve my writing in the hope of one day turning it into a career, and this is still the case. In fact, "IT" now really is the only reason I keep doing "IT", I do love writing, and really do want to get better at "IT". Meanwhile the Ayitian side in MOI, would quite like to make some money at "IT" too, hence, starting today (jodi a), I am re-designing things up in here, and adding advertising (except for porno sites), do not be upset as it is nothing terrible, like a good ole Ayitian politician, I have simply sold out to the highest bidder, that is all, I am hardly Donald Trump, or George Soros, I am not even Titid (JBA), let us keep things in perspective here. On the whole though, I figure I might as well give it a try, and so any one who is reading this please forgive me, but in the meantime, do let me know if the writing, and the babbling (radòt) is improving, I have not posted anything for months, and it does feel like ages.

JBA: Jean-Bertrand Aristide: Presidente de la Republica de Haiti (1990-1991), (1994-1996), and (2001- 2004).

Debunking the Mayan calendar, and Michel de Nostradame, or Jehan de Notre Dame aka Nostradamus.-

De prime abord, let me echo, that I have never claimed to be anything, but an ignoramus, therefore all my life, I have remained baffled about certain hypotheses and theories; in my dunce, and rather brutish brain: 1 plus 1 equal 2, (1+1= 2) epi dat 7, (Note), and over the years, I have often dared, and challenged my scientist mystic buddies, to ascertain, and corroborate any mythical, mystical (?), fables or legends.

Note: Epi dat 7: Krenglish (Kreyòl-English phonetics), and that's it ; Number 7, (# 7) pronounced: Sept in French & Set in Kreyòl sounds like: IT (English)

Here is my dictum of why the Mayan calendar ends on 21 December, 2012, and my astute observation of Jehan de Notre Dame's (Nostradamus') quatrains, and all of the end of the world, pre-suppositions, and inclinations:

Nothing comes from nothing, nothing ever could, and nothing ever had, there is always SOMETHING.

Explicandum of the Mayan calendar.-

Something happened to, or with the guy who was drawing/drafting the calendar. Who is to say he did not go home that night, and have a heart attack in his sleep, or stumbled, and broke both hands, or slipped, and hit his head on a stone, and suffered a lifetime concussion, or he caught his wife, performing a mezzo soprano of râles et gémissements, à même le sol with a life time lover? to quote Fat Joe (the rapper): We're from the Bronx, New-York, and shit happens, who knows? but my favourite possible explanation, and the one I feel most likely to be true, is that Mr. Mayan calendar drawer did not get paid. That is right, I would bet the Mayan civilization went bankrupt trying to bring about Universal Shaman-Care (Health Care) for all its citizens, and Mr. calendar drawer, stopped working on it because he was not going to take anymore I.O.U's from the Shaman Social Security/Pension Trust Fund.

I would also like to point out that numbers (#'s) were invented by the Egyptians, Made in Egypt, I would be a numerologist, a believer, if numbers were originally Made in China; moreover, I have always been dubious to whatever human beings crop up, or buoy up. Numbers (#'s), days, months, years, lotto, "bòlèt", horoscopes, tarot card readings, only mean whatever we want them to mean, in other words, they do not mean JACK ! Why do you think people read their horoscopes daily? We do not have a clue, but we like the idea that we do, some concubines, lovers, exchange horoscopes routinely, believe me, they do not believe a word, but between life-time Facebook, AOL, Skype, Netlog, Yahoo Messenger eternal flames, doux baisers, and all, it is whatever rock their boats, one or the other will claim to be ahead of the Astrologists, in their eyes this is "sexual healing", and to quote a particular International playa: It's gonna be quite a show, ma grande, who am I to say otherwise?

Explanandum of Jehan de Notre Dame.- (Nostradamus)

Nostradamus was incognizant, perturbed if not qualmy, the man was French after all, he was just writing down what a few bottles of home made wine were whispering to him in his sleep, his quatrains are oblique, and elliptical to YOU and MOI, stop pretending that you have deciphered one (1) word from Jehan's quatrains, the same goes for the book of Revelation, it was one person's vision of the future, just like the Mayan's calendar, and trust me: We are NOT worthy, galactic alignment, and massive solar radiation are way beyond our comprehension.

That is my random thought for April 2011. I hope to have them for many more years, but if you believe the Mayans, the countdown to the great 13th Bak'tun, is about one (1) year, and a half 'till doomsday, (21 December, 2012), you do not have much time, so go out there, and have a blast, who wants to sit around and self-obsess about the end of the world, when you can self-medicate with a frosty cerveza (beer) under the sun somewhere in Bali, Dubai or the Caribbean.

A "civilogue" about Ayiti's election.-

Ever since Genesis, or depuis the issuance, and public reading of Magna Carta (1297) democracy, and/or civil rights, no matter your race, colour, origin, gender, creed, and religion, come from, and belong to all people simply because they are HUMAN BEINGS. Said RIGHTS are inalienable, God given, and never have been GIFT of the elites to dispense or withhold; they are are not inherited, or conferred, and cannot be withdrawn on a whim; they are not bestowed by virtue of birthright, patrimony, and inheritance, if they were, they would not be UNIVERSAL RIGHTS.

Hence: the first Jewish revolt against the Roman Empire (The Great Revolt 66-73 CE); the Ayitian slaves rebellion (1791-1803); the US Women's suffrage movement of the 1920's; the decolonisation of the Afrikan continent in the 50's & 60's; the US civil rights movement of the 60's; the failure of Communism in the Soviet Union (1991); the demise of Apartheid in South Afrika (1994?); and Le printemps Arabe (Arab Spring 2011). Generations later, it is those paramount, and sine quibus non human rights, that our politicians have repudiated.

Eux par Moi, Moi par Eux.- Men m nou men m lan.- Statu quo ante.-

La vague rose (pink wave), that swept through the Ayitian's political scene last week, was a tsunami, everything indicated that it was time for a fresh start. Between people’s desiderata for our country’s future, and the trajectory we are on, if we continue to think, and behave as we do, I have often inelegantly heralded that, the meltdown, and annihilation of Ayitian civilisation, is only a matter of time, and have more than often, asserted that, to survive, and prosper, our country need future leaders, and citizens, in aggregate, to be more au courant of the political process, not just voting, but understanding that difficult, and gut-wrenching decisions need to be made for the long term benefit of Ayiti, I have silently yearned, and supplicated for scrupulous, veracious, pro-social, bona fide political leaders, which mournfully brings me to the 2010/2011 Ayiti's election.

What I ultimately take from this election is that, I have not seen an enormous amount of actual change, quite the contrary in fact, and certainly no new politics. It would have been risible, if the lives of million of people were not at stake, but it was still fascinating, and farcical, to overhear the flavour of la perdante bitterness, she did not waste anytime forecasting Armageddon, immediate doom, and gloom for the country, Madame, just could not resist taking the opportunity to contravene age old tradition, by throwing a few jabs, followed by a dozen or so uppercuts; speaking condescendingly about le vainqueur (the winner), she casted herself as morally superior, and intellectually above le commun des mortels, (average Joe) what especially struck a chord, was the trivialising, and belittling of her opponent's raz de marée victory.

L'ascension implacable de "Tèt Kale".- The ultimate rise of "Tèt Kale".-

Conversely, Monsieur, le gagnant, a depraved buffoon, and baffoon in the eyes of the Ayitian intelligentsia, the solfège challenged, self-proclaimed Konpa Prezidan, in a bizarre twist, morphed into a political animal, by running a modern, and technology savvy campaign, showing shrewdness, and acumen, the dapper future Prezidan, voix posée, costume bien coupé, and tèt kale, handled his first Q & A press conference with the dexterity, and the savoir faire of a seasoned politician. Not à mon goût were the memorable surnames, and recognizable visages on the dais, the faces flashing on our television screens were telling, and habitual, un portrait sans retouche, guess they have never heard of Adobe Photoshop.

Post scriptum.- Tèt Kale (Kreyòl expression): Martelly's campaign slogan; bald head (English), or all the way, also has a sexual interpretation in Kreyòl.

Running a great campaign, and winning a presidential election, ain't no guarantee of a successful presidency, hastily, the victorious party will no longer see la vie en rose, and confront the sinister reality of Ayitian politics. The International Press is already waxing, having a field day, about shades of Papa's & Baby Doc's reign; the crisis at hand is profound, and urgent, and the worst may still be to come. The task ahead seems almost insurmountable, and a few questions need to be addressed:how could the future government, and the people have a deeper, and more honest conversation about the choices facing a country which was a catastrophe even Pre-J 12? how could Ayiti develop a new, and stronger civil society to fill the gaps between the haves, and haves-not?. The conqueror will need to step up his strategy, and not waste precious time, playing tit for tat, but to remain focus, and turn this quagmire into a national conversation about new inspiring, and concrete ideas.

When asked last year, whether a man who made a name dancing, and singing had the mettle for his nation's top job, the former musician sarcastically smiled, and sniggered: Well, look at what the politicians have done so far. In capsule, at the end, nothing is ever so lugubre, because God is utterly GOOD!