Tuesday, November 29, 2011

I am I, ignorance and all

Oh, Ole G glows: mwen si telman klere, mwen dore.-

Encore une fois, it is posting time, commonly known in the webosphere as: Ole G's immolation time, but this time around, I have plenty of reasons for ignoring those who lack a certain lightness of touch, just because two (2) weeks ago, a gentleman, and a scholar, a well-traveled, homme du monde, inquired if I had ever considered compiling all the blog's radòt (ramblings) into a book. What can I say? Barack Obama, even in his "Yes, we can" days, was never so eloquent. Now, for just one (1) second, excuse MOI, while I polish my famousness.

Delusions of grandeur.- Foli grandè.-

Since my cretinism has never stopped MOI in any endeavour, the very same nite, piaffant d'impatience (jumping out of my skin), I wished my dear friend a lifetime of ordinary miracles, and went to bed with dreams of: Hemingway, Lafferière, Steinbeck, Phelps, Vieux, Fanon, Roumain, Alexis, 
a tête-à-tête  with  acclaimed interviewer Charlie Rose, The New York Times Best Seller list, TIME Magazine cover; la une du quotidien Le Nouvelliste, being awarded the Pulitzer Prize for excellence in literary achievements, winning Ayiti's coveted literary prize the Prix Henri Deschamps, Hollywood agents calling, Denzel is more than interested; winning an Academy Award (Best Adapted Screenplay), and the ultimate reward: AFIG presenting MOI with an award for just being fabulous MOI.

AFIG: Advanced Finance Investment Group, Main offices in Senegal, Washington D.C, and South Afrika, the leading private equity fund management company in Afrika, and soon the World.

Patatras.- The awakening.-

Early the next morning, I woke up (literally), and since I usually choose things by how they resonate not only in my heart, but also in my tèt kokolo (bald head), daylight helped me cut the malarkey:

  • 1.- I am lacking le dénomminateur commun in most published, and best-selling authors: TALENT.
  • 2.- This blog is as banal as a fortune cookie.
  • 3.- For over a decade, the distinguished publishers, and book editors of Hachette, Gallimard, Editions Henri Deschamps, Doubleday, and Random House, have never acknowledged my manuscripts, nor returned my calls, or replied to my 17 853 emails (and counting); as a matter of the fact, most (ok, all) leading publishing houses in the US and Canada, and the greater world, have banned, blocked and/or banished Ole G from their mailing lists, and web sites. Can you imagine? one sends over 17 000 emails to a few publishing houses, and next thing one knows, harassment/stalking charges are pending.
  • 4.- Writing a book involves patience, and inspiration, and when one reaches un âge certain, patience is no longer a virtue, and inspiration is deciding mayo or ketchup.
  • 5.- I am still trying to figure out the correct spelling of "Gadafi" and/or "Khadafi", "Al Quaeda" and/or "Al Qa'ida", or is "Beijing" in "Peking"?.
  • 6.- Blogrush (the blogosphere traffic controller), has qualified my blog as: inappropriate, obscene, tasteless, and crude.

Mon œuvre, ma vie: un gros truc en perspective.-

With all this going for MOI, dans mon optique ultra, I have decided de remuer ciel et terre, d'activer le réseau RELATION, to be a rebel without a cause, and to follow my friend's advice, hence, I am here to announce with great fanfare (kale tanbou/drum roll), that by February 2012 The Life and Times of Ole G (Volume 1), will be available in French-English-Kiswahili-Kreyòl, exclusively in paperback at Amazon.com, Barnes & Noble, and Editions Henri Deschamps, for the non-refundable/non-negotiable/non-transferable price of USD $35 dollars, believe me, I am not making a dime of profit, et comme on dit: Profits can be creatively interpreted, one way for the tax man, another for the potential investor, and another for you. Sales, however, are absolute, detectable, and irrefutable. May I add that, a portion of the proceeds (.000001%), will go to the less fortunate, and the disenfranchised, (read the 7 billion (+) people around the world), what can I say? I am a fan of the great Ayitian philanthropist Wyclef Jean.

Mèsi Jezi, Jeova (not Jay-Z)- Thank you, Jesus.-

Time of the year to be thankful, grateful, and all that konpa, time to look back, and meditate, time to re conciliate, group hugs anyone? who cares if the Amerikans are revisionist historians? what is a couple of million of indigenous peoples, being enslaved, brutalised, murdered, raped and all? I solemnly swear that, I shall not utter such vile words as: eradication, extermination, and genocide. This is the time for us to devour our koden n (turkey), watch some football games (Go Cowboys), and enjoy the company of our beloved family. This is the traditional time for good food, good wine, and good sex; time for Black Friday; max out the credit cards; time for cliches, and trite Christian inspirational quotes, anyways it is time for: end of the year celebration of officials/non-officials Pagan, Christian , Jewish, Voodoo holidays; Halloween, Guede, All Soul's Day , Day of the Dead (Lè mò ), Thanksgiving Day, Ole G's birthday, Agwe Woyo (13 December), manje lwa, kase gato , Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Christmas carols, Boxing Day, Ayiti's Independence Day, Jou d'lan; and the bacchanalia will only end with New Year's Eve/day (Jou d'lan); some even say, it will last, 'till 6 January ( Epiphany, Les Rois, Kings Day ) Ayibobo zanmi sekrè m yo; what more can I say? it is the perfect time for dysfunctional families to unite, and reunite, ask for forgiveness: No, my dear, last Easter, I did not actually call you a BITCH, I actually said :  you smell like a tropical BEACH, if you think about it, it is a lovey smell, blame it on my Kreyòl accent.

A few years ago, someone sent me an article, and I basically remember the general idea (give or take a few thousand words), anyhoo, what the author essentially tried to convey was that:

"...We have a tendency to take everyday things for granted, and not recognize them for the gifts they are, things people in dire straits would give anything to have. Sometimes I get bogged down by inertia. Or, somewhere along the way, no doubt between the perils of a Catholic upbringing, and the teachings of the racist/xenophobic French/Belgian priests of Petit Séminaire Collège Saint Martial , I, (Ole G) bought into the theory that if I am really, really good, then good will come back. Then when it does not, at least, not on my timetable, I get frustrated. Still, I wake up the next morning hopeful, and optimistic. Every day is new, with fresh possibilities. I guess I would rather think that way than be in the glass is half empty camp. Just like I know some people who have been through the most trying times that life can offer, and they still manage to see the glass as half full. That alone is one of the few reasons to be thankful, and happy..."

Despite some harrowing moments during the past two (2) years, I am deeply thankful:
  • 1.- For Thanksgiving Day (Afrikan stylin') brutal, especially for the liver.
  • 2.- Thanks to a steady diet of  nyama choma (bbque meat), bia (beer), and South Afrikan wine (90% sulfur), I have only gained six (6) kilos this blessed year.
  • 3.- I am forever thankful, and beholden to the Ayitian Parliament, the indigenous/inglourious basterds never cease to amaze me, Et que le Bon Dieu reconnaisse et benisse the Ayitian Senator who uttered on the Senate floor: Des plantations de maïs moulu, I for one, cannot wait for  Des plantations de gratin.
Note: Indigenous Basterds (2008/2009?) is a film written/directed by my favourite director Quentin Tarantino.
  • 4. Thankful, and gladsome that, I have reached middle age, and still can walk, dance, flirt, and make my wife go hahahaha, of course, she is laughing at my shortcomings (pun intended).
  • 5.- Thankful, and felicitous that, I still miss my wife when she travels for a couple of days, and if you do not tell her, she will never know, because she has never read my blog.
  • 6.- I am thankful, and content that, no one I love/care for is in an immediate life-threatening situation, thanks to Gran Mèt la, doctors/technology, medical insurances, and medications, we are still kicking vivan, natirèlman, like most Caribbean men/women, we are all affected by: high blood pressure, diabetes, high cholesterol, obesity, and a deficiency of vitamins D, C, B, A, F, J, K, W, Z etcetera... pito nou lèd, nou la (Better that we are ugly, but we are still here.)
  • 7.- Blessed, and thankful for my kids: Boubou, and Kiki.
  • 8.- Thankful, and ecstatic, for blogging; just because of YOU, dear readers, and members (all 3 of you), just a reminder: place your paperback order early, non-refundable USD $ 35 dollars (pa di m, nou pa t konnen) and  no personal checks.
  • 9.- Thankful, and blissful that, my son, at the tender age of thirteen (13) is taller than MOI, and both of my kids are smarter than MOI, well, since I come from the Pygmy tribe, and I am not the sharpest knife in the drawer, the latter two (2), are not great accomplishments, but I am still proud of my children.
  • 10.- Thnakflu, thta I cna txt nwo, I gto htis.


  1. Wow! Well said - Formidable! -:)

  2. BTW, I read the blog, and no one told me to ... ahahahaha
    and u still cannot text.