Thursday, March 1, 2012

Ole G's abdication

YOLO: You only live once.-

For the past two (2) months, Ole G has been under scathing verbal attacks, and has received threatening emails, and instant messages from the neo-crypto Ayitian apologists, revisionists, and antagonists of a certain bygone era; stigmates douloureux d’une bien triste époque, Ils/elles ont franchit un cran de plus dans la violence verbale; après maintes cogitations, et parce que je n'aime pas tirer sur les ambulances, for my well-being, my mental health, et pour éviter de piquer une crise d’urticaire, I have decided de fermer portes, fenêtres et barrières, to forever incinerate the Life and Times of Ole G at the blogosphere's crematorium until the end of never; it is time for hugs, and kisses, et de pleurer à chaudes larmes (cry bitterly), time to bid adieu to all of you gathered here, sigh, and sniff...émouvant...when you are ready to read the rest, do proceed...tout a un prix, et surtout, tout a une fin; Le pire, a-t-on coutume a dire, c'est quand le pire commence à empirer.

I started writing this here blog, in a period of very intense personal crisis, and one of my ways of getting through my dilemma, for my mental health sake, was to muse to amuse; far be it from me of persuading anyone to my point of view, but the fact that a group of individuals can even dare question historical facts makes my blood curl.
  • Fact #1.- Amongst the nations of the greater world, we hold the unique dishonour of having murdered our founding father, Jean-Jacques Dessalines lasted about twenty (22) months in power, he was assasinated at Pont-Larnage (Pont-Rouge today) on 17 October, 1806; the very first Ayitian coup d'etat, fact or fiction?.
Note.- Some historians even argue (preuve à l'appui) that Dessalines was assassinated at Alexandre Pétion's private house (Rue de L'enterrement).
  • Fact #2.- I have scribed that La Perle des Antilles, The Pearl of the Caribbean is a slave master terminology utilised by the French colonists not because of our glorious mountains, our pristine beaches, and our clair de lune, but because Saint-Domingue was a slave powered export factory, and the world's richest colony, therefore La Perle des Antilles should not be used in a patriotic context . In a much different context than Ayiti, for decades Puerto Rico has been known as La Perla del Caribe, so was Batista's Cuba (circa the 1950's), fact or fiction?.
Note: For centuries, Timbuktu, Tombouctou (Mali) is known as: The pearl of the desert; La perle du désert.
  • Fact # 3.- Une dette de l'indépendance? the French debt does not exist, because we defeated Napoleon's army, and declared Ayiti sovereign (1 January, 1804), by virtue of Jean-Pierre Boyer blancophile /francophile bizarre complex of inferiority, the government of Ayiti agreed to pay 150 million francs to the former colonists, (dédommagements/indemnities) so Ayiti could be welcome at the table of the so-called civilised nations, and keep the French heritage and the French language at the forefront of Ayitian culture. We did not lend the money to the French, it was not a loan, how can it be a debt? (debtor? creditor?). Ayiti paid the amount (150 millions francs) principal, plus interest 'till 1922 (?), our political leaders negotiated, signed, sealed, and delivered, handshakes, dined, lunched, accolades, and all, fact or fiction?.
  • Fact # 4.- In 1963, Ayiti earned the sobriquet: poorest country in the Western Hemisphere under the reign of  François Duvalier (Papa Doc), fact or fiction?.
  • Fact # 5.-: The phenomenon (lack of a better word) of boat people (en masse) started under the government of  Jean-Claude Duvalier (Baby Doc), in the early 70's fact or fiction?
In my naivete, I had high hopes that by blogging, I could get back to some sense of purpose, and just because I believe que la personne humaine est sacrée et inviolable, I did not take into consideration les petist esprits placés du mauvais côté de l’histoire (byen konte, mal kalkile). To wit, I will spare you the venomous, ribald, and uncouth messages, in the meantime, allow me to share a few of the invectives addressed to ma personne via email, Facebook, IM, SMS, voicemail, and latrye. I must admit that I was a smidge overblown by the virulent reactions.

Chapeau bas, slip haut.-
  • Message # 1: From Anonymous, January 2, 2012: "Vous êtes un idiot et un imbécile, vous frisez le ridicule".
In just one (1) short sentence, Sir/Madame Anonymous has captured my soul, my being, ma raison d'etre, one must appreciate le savoir faire of this dude or dudette, le vouvoiement, (the use of 2nd personal plural pronoun in French), is a tangible proof that he/she has reached the echelon of Certificat D'Études Primaires; nothing more, nothing less.
  • Message # 2: From Tijo87, 7 January, 2012: "Tout moun rayi w sou internet la, femen dyòl ou."
Another malformed incongruous discombobulated little brain; Tout moun? really? I am glad that late in life, I am achieving some kind of recognition, furthermore, because of the usage of le tutoiement (the use of 2nd personal singular pronoun in French), J'ai tendance à penser that this message was sent by either a member of my family or a close friend, as of now, I am in the process of investigating every Joseph, Jonas, Joannne, Josette, Jochris, Jonathan, Joséphine, Jocelyne, Joshua, Joël, that I have ever encountered in my life.
  • Message # 3: From Anonymous, 9 January, 2012: "Haiti pa pou ou, se pou mothafoka nan NYC tue w".
Another miseducated fool with myopic tunnel vision, one man/woman alone cannot possibly be that asinine, and I will not even attempt to swim in this maze.
  • Message # 4: From CarloRa12 January 9, 2012: "salòp, retire dyòl ou sou Micky, li pa fout kamarad ou."
Mr CarloRa12 has the complete incapacity to grasp even the simplest of minor facts without support from people he feels are smarter than he is (read MM). I especially like the incisive, and concise salòp, this one will be framed, and displayed in the family room au vu et au su de tout le monde.
  • Message # 5 (Facebool wall): "Nèg gwo dyòl sa se yon egri li ye."
Une phrase écrite tout en finesse, to my great chagrin, this delicate flower, this Kreyòl diva, deleted the aforementioned comment two (2) days after posting it on my FB wall, of course there is a strong possibility that the reference to my gwo dyòl, is her personal sexual fantasy.

To all the revisionists and apologists, thank you for confirming my suspicions.

Mon site perso, mon pays, ma culture, ma vie.-

Ce serait mal me connaître, if you sincerely believe that Ole G would abandon his cherished blog because of a few malcontents who have made the wrong turn into another dimension; pour ceux/celles qui savent encore lire, for those who can still read, pour l'histoire: JE N'ABDIQUERAI PAS.

Someone once wrote: "The essential soul of a human being is by definition free. The idea that men are free as determined by God is a concept that is foreign to most men. This is because most men want to control others, to take away their freedom. This is usually referred to as the drive for power. The drive for power is antithetical to freedom because power means the ability to control others. There is only one legitimate thing that power can and should be used for, whether it be military, legislative, or executive power. That is, to legalize freedom." (fin de citation)

This here blog has a unique purpose, to amuse, humour, comedy, satire, and other happenings, pondering life, and weird thoughts. I shall continue debating key issues especially when it comes to Ayiti, sprinkle with historical facts, and  will continue to write many things for humorous effect; to my detractors let me re-iterate: I do it for my culture, to let them know (Ref:1); and I only debate my equals, the others I TEACH. (Ref:2)
  • Ref 1.-: Jay-Z not Jezi
  • Ref 2.-: John Henrick Clark (historian, Pan-Africanist, American writer, and professor)

The ruminations of Ole G: Volume 1.-

What an exhilarating, heart warming event, mayhaps, you were not aware that the international book launching of  The ruminations of Ole G: Volume 1 was held 29 January, 2012 at Mount Meru Hotel (Tembo Room), Arusha, Tanzania, amongst the attendees were...? well, there were people; as part of an exclusive promotion to commemorate the event, all book buyers received a t-shirt with the likeness of Ole G. Copies of the book are available in paperback exclusively at Editions Henri Deschamps (Ayiti), Les Éditions Gallimard (France), Random House (USA, Canada). All typos and grammatical errors are copyrighted.

The international reviews:
  • "This book was a waste of my time, not anywhere in his bumbling incoherence did Ole G come up with a single cognitive thought".- Toronto Gazette (Canada)
  • "Ole G, speaks in euphemisms and cloudy language littered with buzzwords".- The Atlantic (New Jersey/USA).
  • "The author should learn how to tell a story well before he tells a story about storytelling".- Politico (USA)
  • "I have never had a book stolen; please STEAL this book from my collection.".- San Jose Mercury Time (USA)
  • "I cannot believe that we have allowed this poor excuse of a man to live in our country".- The Citizen (Tanzania)
  • "It is obvious that the author has incredible talent, unfortunately, he apparently locked it away in the wardrobe when he was writing this book.”.- Nairobi Times (Kenya)
  • "I have bumped into the author in and around town, he usually looks disheveled and lost, so are the stories in this book".- Arusha Times (Tanzania)
  • "I long for the good old days when we had firing squad for those pretending to be writers".- Sydney Daily (Australia)
  • "This book should make a great log for the fireplace, during one cold, stormy winter night".- Johannesburg Daily (South Africa)
  • "Waste of time, waste of money, the author is a user of hallucinogenic drugs".- Philadelphia Inquirer (USA)
  • "The shame he has brought upon Haitian society is very disturbing. I mean, his name is Ole G. You know, the G in Haitian Creole stands for GAGA. Stay away.- USA Today
  • "Maudit soit l'auteur".- L'Express (France)
  • "Ça sent la mer, effets toxiques".- Le Figaro (France)
  • "Il faut que les Haïtiens se resaisissent".- Les Afriques (Geneva)
  • "Si Micky ka prezidan, Ole G ka ekriven".- Kreyòl Book Club (Ayiti)
  • "Tchhwiiiiiiiiip".- Five (5)  book buyers at Asterix bookstore (Pétion-Ville, Ayiti)
  • "Non m sa fou".- Visitors of Salon du livre de Delmas édition 2012 (Ayiti)
  • "Retire toi de moi, Satan".- Staff member of Fédération des Ecoles Protestantes d'Haiti (FEPH).
I would like to thank the gentleman who advised MOI, to publish a book (Mèsi Bòs Papa).

Lin on Me.-

Webster's dictionary, and Thesaurus describe Linsanity as follow:
  • 1.-Linsanity [lin-SAN-i-tee]: n. a derangement of the mind brought about by New York Knicks player Jeremy Lin.
  • 2.- the fervor over Jeremy Lin causing seemingly level-headed people to behave irrationally.
  • 3.- an unnatural use of bad puns incorporating the prefix "lin-".
Side effects of linsanity may include puffy combs, spike lee, restless leg syndrome, shortness of breath, excessive breathing, bad breath, goose bumps, redness, bouts of racism, and selected ethnic slurs, swollen tongue, itchy scalp.

And the above were my ponderings, ramblings, and other various thoughts for the month of February 2012; Life is my university, may I graduate well, and earn some honours.


  1. I don't this old G dude or dudess from jack, but he/she sure has a sense of humor.Honestly I enjoy reading your stuff.Where a man isn't free to express himself life isn't worth living. Keep Up bro!

  2. Ooops! *I meant to say I don't know Old G!

  3. You're too much Gardy. I can't stop cracking up. You should definitely not retire the Ole G, If you do, that would be a disservice to Humanity (lol). Please keep on making us laugh. Another great one bro...