Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Rumble Ole G, rumble

Charte de bonne conduite.-

Lâchez-vous mais n'insultez pas, n'appelez pas au meurtre, à la violence, au dechoukay, mais il est temps de casser les causeurs dont le but est de discréditer cet espace de liberté.

1.- Tout ce que vous ne pouvez pas dire de manière polie n’a pas vocation à être publié ici, pas plus que les attaques contre la mère de telle ou telle personne, ou encore les comparaisons avec un quelconque dictateur actuel ou passé.

2.- Soigner son langage

Evitez d’utiliser des mots de jargon ou d’argot qui risquent de ne pas être compris. N’oubliez pas qu’on vous lit partout dans le monde, alors soyez explicites.

Code of conduct.-

Feel free to contribute to this mess, to disagree with me, do not call me crazy, I much prefer the term mentally hilarious, but I reserve the right to delete any comments for any reason whatsoever (abusive, profane, rude)  so keep it polite. The use of slang is prohibited by authority or law, and it would be distinctly unwise – and uncharitable to attack Ole G's mama or anybody's mama in the debates, comparing anybody with past or present murderous dictators is forbidden. if you would like your comments to be posted en première ligne (no matter your tone), regardless of instance or circumstance, please note that subtle manipulations, flattery, and bribery do count. La liberté d'expre
ssion est-elle à géométrie variable, ou a-t-elle un prix? you bet, your sweet potato.

For that matter the following peoples, and institutions were sent a cease and desist letter from my team of lawyers: Rush Limbaugh, Mama G, Oprah Winfrey, Gayle King, Geraldo Rivera, Jean-Bertrand Aristide, Amerikan Airlines,
 The Roman Catholic Church , The Church of Jesus-Christ of Latter-day Saints (Mormon Church), L'Armée du Salut (Salvation Army), the Clinton-Bush Haiti Fund, Bill O'Reilly, Sean Hannity, Senator Karl Lambert, Senator Anick François Joseph, Jean-Claude Duvalier, The Parliament of Ayiti (Lower & Upper Houses), Nicolas Sarkozy, Dominique Strauss-Khan, Rick Santorum, Mitt Romney, Pope Benedict XVI , Lady Gaga, Nicki Minaj, Little Wayne, Justin Bieber, Madonna, Flavor Flav, Jeremy Lin, Tim Tebow, Lebron James, The French Music Industry (FMI), The Haitian Music Industry (HMI), Association Touristique d'Haiti (ATH), The British Royal family, and The Kardashian family.

Post-scriptum: in addition of the letter of cease and desist, Mama G also received a formal notice,
une lettre de mise en demeure.

Un air de déja vu.- zip ti bidip men m ti bagay la.-

After my ignominious debut as a novelist, and the unpalatable, but veridical reviews from the international media, one (1) week ago, a couple of otorite moral (moral authorities), fired a few remaining salvos at Ole G, one rascal, went so far, as not to sublty suggest, that I was dropped on my head a lot as a baby, another miscreant, suggested that I have ten (10) fingers but no pinkies; under the bludgeoning of insults, I have not winced nor cried aloud, my head has been bloodied but remain unbowed; contrary to media reports, I did not go into rehab, or a
pelerinay (pilgrimage) to Tibet, or joined a religious cult in the Arizona desert, some have suggested encore pire, que je prends des cachets pour dormir, d'autres pour rester éveillé; instead, I was reminded of an old Afrikan proverb: Do not look where you fell, but where you slipped.

Eh oui, je suis condamné à aller jusqu'au bout; hence, I went out in the world, le front haut, l'âme fière, and try to make it a better place for you, and for MOI. I have adopted a baby seal, and a cub (baby lion), signed in as a volunteer for Save the Whales, Save the Earth, Greenpeace Foundation,  and became a Knight of Malta, being a universal donor blood (Type O), in one (1) week, I donated twenty two (22) litres of blood to the East Afrikan Red Cross Organization. Even my numerous detractors have agreed that I have displayed impressive sang-froid in front of humongous obstacles.

My life remains a movie with a superb cast, but for some reasons I still cannot figure the plot. I also continue to pray, though I am not really sure anyone is listening; just to be on the safe side, I always phrase my lamentations carefully, just in case HE is a literary, and cultural critic. It is said an Eastern monarch once charged his wise men to invent him a sentence to be ever in view, and which should be true, and appropriate in all times and situations. They presented him the words: And this, too, shall pass.

The stage has been staged, the disclaimers have been disclaimed, the critics have critiqued, the good scotch, and the 20 year old aged cognac (Prunier: 20 ans d'âge) have been forever locked in a cabinet, and I threw away the lock's combination, but the ultimate question still remains unanswered: what's a visionary thinker like Ole G, have to do to get a little goddamn respect around here anyway?

Du pareil au même.- Same old malarkey.-

Saturday, 10 March, 2012, was indeed a majestic day, the kind of exquisite day that must have inspired John Lennon to poetize the lyrics of the classic song ♫ Imagine ♪, Miles Davis lived for those days, Nemours Jean-Baptiste must have theorized ♪ konpa ♫ on such a scenic day, the kind of day, I presume, Maurice Sixto, jotted down the ultimate version of Léa Kokoye, Moriso-Lewa must have translated the classic Antigone from French to Kreyòl on such a picturesque day, with certainty, it is on such a splendid day that Oswald Durand was motivated to ink the poem Rires et Pleurs/Choucoune, Frankétienne authored the last chapter of the classic novel Dezafi on such a grandiose day, it was the kind of day that galvanized erudite bloggers to scribe such luscious prose as: "...The sun rose in a hurry, as if trying to make up for setting so early the evening before, bouncing into the sky like a great fiery yo-yo and sending what was left of the moon packing..." on such days, painters, painted; lovers, loved; exotic birds chirped, tweeted, and tried to procreate, volatile squirrels flirted on tree branches, and capricious bees kissed every rose petals.

On this sublime day, in the pocket-size backyard of a humble house located in an unpaved street in Arusha, Tanzania, a venerable, and elegant old man was feeding breakfast to a baby seal, and a baby lion; the granmoun was pensive about his great love of the word QUEUE, so not easy to spell, yet so short to pronounce: Q ; In English, the word truly captures the essence of waiting in a long line, a word that made him realise that patience can be so short; quand tout à coup, soudainement, soudain KNOCK KNOCK...WHO'S THERE? at the front door, an unshaven twenty something deliveryman, handed the old fox, a FedEx's cardboard envelope (9-1/2" x 15-1/2") addressed to his name, trépignant d'impatience (jumping out of his skin), he ripped open the envelope, and just when he thought that he was no longer the
foil du jour, ready to forgive, and forget les incorrigibles intellectuels auto-proclamés, when he was ready to dekole (fly again), to obliterate the agony, the torment, and the wretchedness, of his futile attempt of being a successful prose writer, sans dessus-dessous, FATE, érigé en Legba, maîtres des grands chemins, via FedEx, lowered the boom, dealt her card, and opened a brand new can of worms, inside the envelope: a certificate, confirming his inevitable predestined doom, inscribed on a parchment, the following:

International Association of Morons

(Under Section 805 of the Doofus and Morons Law)

Pursuant to the provisions of Sections 502 and 805 of the Doofus and Morons Law, the undersigned hereby certify:

  • 1.- The name, alias, or alter ego of the Moron is OLE G, and will hereby be recognized as a dodo and a cretin.
  • 2.- The Certificate of Moron was filed by the Department of State of the State of New Jersey on 22 February, 2012.
  • 3.- The Certificate of Moron and Stupid is hereby amended by the addition of the following provision stating MR. OLE G must invoke an attitude that is brainless, dazed, deficient, dense, dim, doltish, dopey, dull, dumb, foolish, futile, gullible, half-baked, half-witted, idiotic, ill-advised, imbecilic, inane, indiscreet, insensate, irrelevant, laughable, ludicrous, meaningless, mindless, moronic, naive, nonsensical, obtuse, out to lunch, pointless, puerile, rash, senseless, shortsighted, simple, simpleminded, slow, sluggish, stolid, stupefied, thick, thick-headed, trivial, unintelligent, unthinking and/or witless.
  • 4.- In requirement with the above, MR. OLE G must commit acts of stupidity, whether they be physical demonstrations or verbal utterances, as fixed by the Board of Morons Directors pursuant to the authority vested in it by the Certificate of Morons.
IN WITNESS WHEREOF, we have executed and subscribed this Certificate of Amendment, and do affirm the foregoing as true, this 23rd day of February, 2012 under penalties of perjury.

Name: Carl Robertson III
Title: Chairman of the Doofus and Morons Board of Directors
Name: Salamander M. Montehume II
Title: Senior Vice President Doofus and Morons
Name: Edward T. Mc Cullum
Title: Chairman of the Doofus and the Morons

Le superbe crépuscule de Ole G.- Ole G's afterglow.-

This must be destiny's way of poking at me, ridiculisé, rigolo, surprenant ou pathétique? Dame Fate, with impolitic statement, has found a way to let me know that my idiocy will not soon be forgotten, I am officially an international bubblehead, a dodo, and a doofus. I have it in writing, and to add fuel to the fire, as I was reading the last sentence of my well-earned certificate, a scream for help coming from the backyard reached my ears: Jezi, anmwey, the baby lion just devoured the baby seal.

I can say without ambiguity that Saturday, 10 March, 2012: SUCKED, I am sorry, I don't know how to put it elegantly; of course there is no escape, and so, to ignore the feeling of disgrace clustering inside of me, 'till further due, the international half-baked, half-witted moronic dopey (MOI) is in recess, due to a series of recent, tortuous, deplorable, and unforeseen circumstances; et ça, c'est le moins que je puisse dire.

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